Christmas Bail Out - Why Not??

I found this in the Wall Street Journal last week and almost died laughing...

With the government on the brink of rescuing the U.S. auto industry, we have learned that the Treasury Department is drawing up plans to bail out Christmas. "We have reason to believe," said a person close to the matter, "that without an immediate capital injection, Santa Claus will fail before December 24." Mr. Claus could not be reached for comment.
Government officials are said to be concerned at the risk that the collapse of Santa Claus could pose to the nation's intricately related system of holiday happiness. Though a failure by Santa Claus poses the largest systemic risk, the government is also prepared to step in to bail out Christmas trees, caroling parties and mistletoe producers.
President-elect Barack Obama has been briefed on the initiative, and through a spokesman was quoted as saying, "I'm OK with bailing out Christmas."
Inside Treasury, some officials privately worry that such a precedent could result in the nationalization of Santa Claus, leading to similar calls for help next year from the Easter Bunny and even Valentine's Day. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson personally concluded, however, that "Santa Claus is too big to fail."
Indeed, the situation was considered sufficiently dire that Mr. Paulson agreed to travel to the North Pole to speak to Mr. Claus. A Treasury official with knowledge of the situation agreed to provide this reporter with an account of the meeting. "Secretary Paulson," this person said, "has had a lifetime belief in Santa Claus and firmly supports what he represents."
Last Saturday morning, Mr. Paulson flew by government plane to meet with Santa, though a spokesman would not disclose the exact location of the famed toymaker's North Pole workshop. Mr. Paulson's plane landed on the polar ice cap, and then the Secretary was taken the final 300 miles in a sleigh pulled by Santa's fleet of reindeer. In deference to Mr. Paulson's unfamiliarity with sleigh-riding at altitude, Mr. Claus ordered his assistants to bring the Treasury department party overland.
The picture of Christmas painted for Mr. Paulson by his rosy-cheeked host was bleak.
Apparently Santa's difficulties in "producing product," as Mr. Paulson described it, originated in a poorly understood aspect of the jolly elf's current operations known as "Christmas list swaps," or CLIPS.
Mr. Claus said that going back as far as anyone can remember, Christmas lists had been handled in the traditional manner. Children would draw up lists, which were left out in the evening with a glass of milk for collection by Santa's elves; other lists would be exchanged with siblings, cousins and loved ones.
Several years ago, according to a participant who requested anonymity, some of Santa's elves were contacted by representatives from Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers, who persuaded the elves of the benefits of an elaborate scheme of Christmas-list securitization.
As outlined to the elves, the idea worked like this. Brokers would break each item on the Christmas lists into separate pieces and repackage the requests as securities, using a formula known as a "benevolence diffusion algorithm." This would guarantee happiness for everybody in the world on Christmas morning. No one would lose.
At first Santa was doubtful of the plan. Mrs. Claus was especially skeptical, pointing out that in her experience with baking Christmas cookies, a seemingly foolproof enterprise, a failure rate of 5% was not uncommon. "There is simply no historical data to suggest the whole world can be long Christmas," Mrs. Claus said. "No scheme will ever rid the world of bad little girls and boys."
According to a person with knowledge of the North Pole couple's affairs, Santa received a call from a Franklin Raines, who identified himself as the president of a "government sponsored enterprise" known as Happie Mac. Santa apparently became convinced that Happie Mac sounded similar to his own business of free giving, and so agreed to the proposed system of Christmas list swaps.
Difficulties emerged when a CLIPS salesman from AIG called a senior elf to say that a large number of the Christmas list swaps had ended up in the hands of Russian billionaires with links to former Russian president Vladimir Putin. "These plutocrats don't even believe in me," Santa was heard to say as Mr. Paulson's sleigh rode out of sight.
On returning to Washington, Mr. Paulson's plan to bail out Christmas immediately ran into problems. Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, whose great-great uncle is rumored to have been an elf, pointed out that Santa Claus might not qualify for a TARP loan. According the Fed's analysis: "Santa Claus belongs to the people. Any bailout must pass through the appropriate committees of the House."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, notwithstanding that she is the mother of five children, has reportedly told Mr. Paulson that Congress will bail out Christmas only in return for a promise from Santa Claus to "go green." Speaker Pelosi said the Environmental Defense Fund has long complained about Santa's eight tiny reindeer and that Mr. Claus would be asked to appear this Tuesday before Rep. Barney Frank's committee with a plan to reduce the sleigh's carbon footprint.
With only 13 days remaining for a Santa rescue, Mr. Paulson and Speaker Pelosi are said to be discussing the appointment of a Christmas czar. The leading candidate is Oprah Winfrey.

I have a dream..

And it is for me and my family to live as self sufficiently, independently and sustainably as possible. Amazingly, there has been an underground sort of movement in this direction since the 80's and people have been lving incredible lives virtually off the grid and dependent on nothing but God and what he has provided for us all in nature. If you're thinking this sounds mighty "granola" of me, think again. These homes are extraordinarily modern and beautiful as well as provisionary when done correctly. They are entirely self run creating their own power, electricity, heat, water via rain water collection ducts on the roof and incorporating a fully efficient gray water system for recycling water run off. Nothing is overlooked or wasted. They also encompass an immense capacity for growing enough food for a small army, including fish and other animals. Imagine a home that not only provides a beautiful shelter for you and your family, but also all of the modern ammenities and necessities required to live...without the monthly bills! YES PLEASE!!

A Newborn's Conversation With God

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'


'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

Vacation amonst the GIANTS!

I can't believe August is already coming to a close! Lane has turned another year older - reaching the ripe ol' age of 27 - we have returned home from our WONDERFUL vacation in the Redwoods, and school will be starting this coming week.

Speaking of the Redwood vacation, what an awesome adventure! We camped the first night we were there and made sure we got our $20 bucks worth by thoroughly hiking and exploring the gigantic National Park we camped in. Within the first afternoon/evening we were there we managed to hike around for about 2.5 hours leaving us with another 4 hours of hiking and exploring to do the next morning before we had to check out at noon.

From there, we moved on to our adorable accomadations at the Trinidad Inn Bed and Breakfast. The first morning we woke up and took the dog out for his morning glory, we saw a mother deer and her two babies grazing in a secluded meadow there on the property. Once they wandered off we meandered over to enjoy some of the muffins, coffee and teas the wonderful staff placed outside in a little gazeebo every morning for their guests to enjoy. The whole feeling of this enchanting coastal town is so cozy and secluded wrapped each morning in a refreshing coastal fog. We were up early every morning, eager to get as much hiking and exploring done as possible! We spent the first day cruising through the "Avenue of Giants" outside Eureka, stopping and taking short expeditions along trails leading to specifically large trees - such as the Dyerville Giant which has been estimated to stand 370 feet tall before it fell in 1991. That is 200 feet taller than Niagara Falls or comparable to a 30-story building. It is also 17 feet in diameter and 52 feet in circumference. It probably weighs over 1,000,000 pounds. Translation: IT IS HUGE!

We celebrated Lane's birthday with dinner in a restaraunt on the Pier. We enjoyed our meal while being entertained by the young seal that lives in the cove right outside the restaraunt. It was quiet and relaxing and, though at times highly inconvenient, there is something to be said for having no cell phone reception for an entire week.

On Wed we decided to head up to the National Forest to "hunt" for some elk. It was a rainy cold day and we doubted we'd find any. The first couple of spots we stopped were a no go and we began to really loose the faith when, all of a sudden, there they were! An entire herd of them grazing in a meadow right off the side of the main road, so much for a hunt. I have never seen elk before and Lane has only seen the Nevada elk, which are apparently a lot bigger. However, the main bull in this group was plenty big enough for me...I decided that I would NEVER want to be a boy elk. The antlers that guy was carrying around on his head must have weighed at least 40lbs!

Once Lane got his fill of pictures and video from the elk, we moved on up the road and into the Redwood forest in search of a good trail. WE FOUND ONE! (p.s. dogs are NOT allowed on ANY of the state forest trails there, which is the most retarded thing I have ever heard, but that's the fact of the matter) We decided to take on a 9mile trail leading through the heart of one of the oldest growth forests in the park, leading to "Fern Canyon". It was simply the most amazing hike that I have ever been on in my entire life - and I live to hike, I've literally hiked hundreds of trails, this one trumped them all! Keep in mind that it was raining pretty good off and on and so we figured there wouldn't be a lot of people out hiking and it would be fairly simple keeping bailey a secret from the forest rangers...that is until we ran right smack dab into TWO of them less than 100 yards into the hike! Thankfully they were pretty nice about it and let us off with a warning saying, "I'm not going to ticket you but just know another ranger might". Duly noted. We never saw another ranger in the four hours it took us to complete the hike...

We definately should have saved the long hike for the last day as it completely wiped out all three of us. We returned to our room dirty, wet, cold, tired and sore. Unfortunately, I think Bailey now officially hates vacation and will most likely never be leaving home again.

The last day was relaxing and fun as we did some short hikes along the beach, up and over a cliff overlooking the ocean and wandered into Old Historic Downtown Eureka. We had a good time walking amongst the old timeless buildings and browsing through the local shops. It's funny that the only things we bought happened to be baby clothes...for the baby who won't be wearing clothes for at least another 4.5 months!

Returning to the sweltering heat, dryness and desolation of Nevada has been rough - well at least on me! However, I am looking forward to the coming month of September as things begin to cool down and fall weather creeps in and steals away the fiery heat of the summer months. As school gets underway and business picks up time will pass quickly and Addie will grow even quicker! The holidays will come and pass in a flurry as they always do...and January will usher in a new year with so many new and exciting beginnings:)

Here are a few pics from our trip!

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Well, as most of you know by now, Lane and I found out the wonderful news on Wed that we'll be welcoming a precious baby GIRL into our family this January! The best news however, for both of us, was that everything seems to be in perfect working order and there are no signs of anything being wrong. WHEW! A healthy baby, that's all I've been hoping and praying for, everything else is just "extra". We've, obviously, decided on the name of Addison Genoa for our little girl. We both love the nickname "Addie" and Genoa is the amazing little town we were married in.

Now that we know FOR SURE she's a girl (even though I've known all along) it's time to finish decorating the nursery!! The walls are FINALLY done being painted and now we're waiting on our crib...which should be here sometime this century. Actually, it will arrive probably sometime in October. In the meantime, here's some pics of the painted walls.

Tiny Dancer

Evrything that I've read and that people have told me about having to pee every 30 minutes when pregnant has turned into my unfortunate reality. I get up every hour when I'm sleeping and go about every half hour throughout the day! How am I ever supposed to get anything done when my babies constanly dancing on my bladder??

Ode to my wonderful HUBBY

Looking back over the last couple of months worth of blogs I've written...I notice they are ALL about me and the baby! Unbelievable...how self absorbed can one person possibly be?? Believe it or not, Lane actually IS in the picture, which is the only reason why I'm able to get up each day with a smile (or not) and know that everything is going to work out ok in the end. He's been such an amazing help to me during the last 15 weeks and I feel like he needs some recognition for that, I'm sure it hasn't been easy for him dealing with his pregnant hormonal wife! This list is by all means not meant to be all encompassing, just a brief look into some of the ways he's been such a huge support and encouragement:

~Right off the bat, when the home pregnancy test I took at 5am turned positive,I was in shock and didn't know how to feel. It was Lane's excited reaction that set my mind at ease and gave me an immediate positive outlook on this huge life changing event.

~He has been so incredible supporting my decisions about where and under what circumstances I feel most comfortable pertaining to pregnancy care and delivery.

~Of course he's been much kinder to me than I've been to myself regarding all the changes my body is going through. Always there to remind me of the miraculous reasons my body is reacting and changing the way it is.

~We can't forget the chores he's had to pick up since I've become pregnant; cleaning cat litter (ALL the time since my sense of smell is super sized these days). For the first couple of months there, he'd have to do just about everything else around the house as well seeing as I could hardly drag myself out of bed to go to the bathroom! Yet, he did it all with very LITTLE complaining;)

~I don't know how many times I've sent him to the store in search of that one magic food item that will fulfill my every want and desire at that moment!

~Speaking of food, he's been such a good sport about forgoing one of our favorite foods SUSHI! I owe him big time once our little one is here...

~Maybe this one should have gone first, because I think, in his mind at least, he shows his love for me and the baby the most by getting up each and every day to go to work and provide for us. That single act alone gives me such a sense of safety and security that cannot be replaced. Lane's dependablility is overwhelming and makes me love him that much more than I already do!

~Lane balances me out so well and though this one spills over into our lives - pregnant or not - it's still an important and key way that he adds so much to my life...and even more important now that I'm pregnant and even MORE unbalanced!

~Bottom line, I couldn't ever imagine my life without my WONDERFUL HUSBAND!

BUMP!

I am finally starting to see some outward signs of the miracle I'm carrying! Although I could swear I saw a change the day I found out I was pregnant, there's now enough evidence (I think) that people who know me can see the changes happening. I'm coming up on 15 weeks and I wish there was more to show for it...but I keep hearing that first time moms don't really, really, REALLY show until more like 5-6 months, unfortunately. But since I've started taking some pictures of my ever expanding tummy, I figured I'd share! What other time in life is a person actually eager and willing to broadcast their stomach getting bigger and bigger?

The incredible HEART

Well I heard my babies heartbeat yesterday, for the second time actually, but yesterday it was much louder and sounded a lot stronger to me! Of course it's because the baby is getting bigger, making the heart easier to find and hear - and man is that thing going! Doc told me that little heart is beating at about 155 bpm! It just amazes me that the heart that will continuously sustain my baby through his or her entire life is already hard at work! If my baby only weighs a couple of ounces, at best, that heart can't be more than a fraction of an ounce at best! Ok, I know I'm obsessing now...but it's just so incredible to me...this whole idea of a person growing inside of me, I'm still not used to it! Of course there's nothing like actually hearing the sound of my child's heartbeat to make the whole idea of baby real...I'm 3 1/2 months along and will be able to find out the gender in just a few short weeks! However, I have myself pretty convinced we're having a little girl...

Oh the days...

Looking back on the days of my first trimester, now that it's coming to a close, I'm amazed that I'm already 1/3 of the way through my pregnancy and, thank goodness, the worst part is over! My little baby is actually looking like a baby and I'll know within a month if we'll be welcoming a baby boy or girl into our family! I cannot believe how fast it's all going!! No matter how impatient I may be to just hold my baby NOW, God is wise in giving us the entire 9 months to prepare. So much to prepare myself for...already I feel such a huge responsibility of being this child's sole protector and provider. Once that baby is in my arms, and out into this big, scary and hurtful world, I know those feelings of protection will only increase. I'm so thankful that I have been blessed with such a wonderful husband to be my partner in the overwhelming task of raising a moral, strong, healthy and godly child in such an amoral, sick, unhealthy and ungodly world. And to add to that, we have been given amazing families, friends and a wonderful church for back up! SIX MORE MONTHS!! Though it sounds so far away to me at this point, and I'm counting down the moments, I am thankful for this time of excitement and anticipation:)

What's our baby doing today?

Well I found this little pregnancy tracker at one of the websites I was browsing through this morning and thought it would be fun to share the statis of our little one. Enjoy:)

Normal??

Alright, so here I am, just shy of 8 weeks pregnant, and I have already forgotten what it is to feel normal. Speaking of "normal" if one more person tells me that feeling like I'm going to throw up constantly, feeling light headed and dizzy, having hardly enough energy to go for a short 30 min walk and craving foods I would usually never even consider eating is NORMAL than I might have to scream. My life for the past 2-3 weeks has been so far from normal that it's entirely unrecognizable. The dictionary defines "normal" as: "usual; not abnormal; regular; natural." HA!HA!HA! That confirms my suspicions that what I'm currently feeling is NOT NORMAL! Find a different adjective people.

Caging the Beast

Today is the day we're FINALLY getting a fence put in around our yard! WHOOPEE! Our usually docile, gentile and loving pitbull turns into a ferocious monster every time he sees cats in our yard...so we are forced to keep him inside or have the blood of the neighbors cats on our hands (or, more appropriately, paws). As brand new additions to the neighborhood, I don't think that would be a great way to get in good with our friendly neighbors. No matter how much I try to convice our Mr. Rogers like neighbor Ed that "Bailey would NEVER hurt your cats! We have 2 cats ourselves and he just LOVES them...." I'm pretty sure the first time bailey went barging onto his property with his mouth frothing at the anticipated cat meal he apparently thought he was having, all of my good intentions to give a good first impression went right out the window. DAMN DOG!

Brief Intro

Since Lane and I were married February 21, 2008, life has been somewhat of a whirlwind. he's been working long hours and I made the final push to graduate from Massage School as well as keep up my studies to earn my BS in Nutrition. We're both glad the long winter has finally come to an end and the sun has come to warm us once again. And though we are very busy, we still find time to be together in the evenings and on the weekends in order to reconnect and remain close to eachother. We do our best to stay spiritually connected and strong through daily prayer, a weekly couples bible study group and church on sundays. And it is just as important to us to stay physically stong which we attain through various activities we do together on the weekends.

Both my and Lane's extended family all seem to be scattered to the four winds throughout the country, and we rarely get to see, visit, or even talk to any of them. Because I feel so detached from relatives, I thought maybe a family blog would help keep everyone a little more connected and in tune with the happenings of our lives. Granted, we don't exactly live the most interesting of lives, but we do have our moments and our own little adventures. We both love God and we enjoy nothing more than to be outdoors exploring and hiking in the mountain/dessert wilderness he created. There always seems to be something new and exciting to discover when we actually take the time to get out of the city and into the "wild" where all you hear are the faint and peaceful calls of nature all around you. We also have at least one bike race planned for mid June around lake Almanor that we have been training for and are very much looking forward too:)

We're currently planning several one night backpacking trips up at Tahoe and one extended trip up in the Jarbige wilderness (on the border of Nevada and Idaho) We've been planning and looking forward to the trip all winter! However, now that I am 7 weeks pregnant, and will be more like 5 months pregnant once we actually head off into the hills, so we will have to re-evaluate things like pace and distance. Other than that, the trip will go as planned!

As for the baby, we broke the news to most of our family and friends on Mother's Day Sunday, much to everyone's delight, that we will be having our first baby in early January of 2009. Our entire family, on both sides, as well as our friends, have been overwhelmingly supportive already! It's so wonderful to have such wonderful, supportive people surrounding us to match our own feelings of becoming parents with an influx of happiness and joy. Of course we will keep you up to date with all that is happening with our little one, as well as with ourselves, through this incredible journey called life.